Therapy in LA
Therapy in L.A.


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  psych bytes
August 2003
Adapted by Malcolm Miller, Ph.D.

Recommendations for Parents of Adolescents
(From Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Teenager, Avon; Reissue edition, Nov.1988)

Guidelines to Help

  1. Do not to make digs at your teenager even though this is tempting.
  2. Do not emphasize their vulnerabilities to make your points.
  3. Encourage thoughtfulness rather than dependence.
  4. Respect their privacy, unless you have good reason to be concerned about such things as drug use.
  5. Differentiate between tolerance (will not stop them) and acceptance (implying it is o.k.).
  6. Do not futurize ("You'll never be able to hold a job unless you learn to get up on time").
  7. Do not discount their feelings even though you disagree with them ("I hate you." Instead of saying, "You don't really hate me." Say, "You're really angry with me.")
Seven Roads to Trouble
  1. By reasoning. "Did you really think you could get a job after one interview?"
  2. By cliché. "Your still very young and your whole world is ahead of you, so what's the hurry?"
  3. By "take me for instance." "When I was your age…."
  4. By minimizing the situation. "I don't see why you should feel it is so important."
  5. By "the trouble with you." "The trouble with you is you never listen."
  6. By self-pity. "Life has not been easy for me."
  7. By a "Pollyanna" approach. "Everything happens for the best. You lost this boyfriend, a better one will come along."

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