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We will feature a new article here each month written
by one of our group members. These articles are offered free for your
information and are not meant to provide individual advice or psychotherapy.
http://therapyinla.com/book-review/
October/November 2009
WHAT IS MONEY THERAPY AND HOW CAN IT HELP?
By Sandy Plone,
Ph.D.
Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.
~Socrates
Some years ago, early in my private practice as a psychologist,
a friend presented me with the unique gift of a lovely calculator, saying
he wanted me to add large numbers on it and implying the wish for my financial
success. Feeling uncomfortable with the well-meaning gesture I retorted
that I considered myself foremost a healer, and success would mean being
able to help my patients live more peaceful and satisfying lives, not
just “ adding large numbers on the calculator.”
In that moment I became aware of my own complicated money issues. Clearly
I had ambivalence about being entitled to earn my living while also helping
my patients to heal. (Not uncommon among women of my generation.) I subsequently
met and began to collaborate with Deborah L. Price, financial planner
and author of the books MONEY THERAPY: Using the Eight Money Types
to Create Wealth and Prosperity and MONEY MAGIC: Unleashing Your True
Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment. The combination of our
friendship and her development as a money coach led to a transformation
of my own money consciousness, and ultimately my enhanced experience in
being able to help my patients with these issues. Both individuals and
couples were opened to greater understanding of how past issues gleaned
from families and sub-cultures were impacting them in present relationships
and career choices.
In this article I intend to provide information about money therapy, and
delineate various applications of the process. It has become clear to
me as a clinical psychologist who is also trained in the money therapy
specialty, that the current volatile economic climate has greatly increased
the need for this information. Going through the process of learning about
our relationship to money, and the deeper meaning of money from internal
as well as external perspectives can be freeing.
Borrowing from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (1943), basic needs need to
be met first, then awareness of our formerly unconscious attitudes about
money can enhance all aspects of our lives. Or, more simply, without physiological
and safety needs being met, the needs of love, affection and belongingness
rarely are met. Following this line of reasoning, the needs for esteem
and finally, self-actualization are not activated until basic, instinctual
needs are satisfied. In this regard, the beauty of money therapy is that
it can be implemented to meet a client's need at any level.
We live in a society that places an emphasis on making and spending money,
but talking about the subject is difficult for many. Until recently, generations
of parents have been unclear about how to teach children and young adults
how to handle money effectively. Self-esteem issues are generally tied
to earning power in our culture; these reactions can permeate relationships
and often contribute to problems with intimacy issues. This is a particularly
difficult problem these days, with many hurting from job loss or uneasiness
over career, business, or home security, creating added tension in families.
The people who come to my office these days are eager to discuss these
issues now, and are searching for guidance.
WHAT EXACTLY IS MONEY THERAPY?
Money therapy, as with any aspect of psychotherapy practice, can be as
varied as the individuals utilizing the modality. While there is no "cookbook"
approach, there is a structure using the exercises in the book MONEY
MAGIC. That process proved to be a powerful agent of change for me
and others I have known, and is the approach I recommend to my clients.
When difficult financial issues are presented and clients are interested
in some focused work in that area, I suggest reading the first three chapters,
then writing a "Money Biography", which involves accessing memories
from the earliest possible to the present time. Bringing greater awareness
around money histories enriches therapy work as connections between past
and present begin to emerge, bringing insight into present issues. When
each partner of a couple engages at that level powerful changes can occur
rapidly. An example of this type of awareness took place recently with
a couple that took turns reading their money biographies to one another,
while the partner listened attentively. It wasn't long, with a few interventions
on my part, until it became clear that within each family of origin there
were opposing assumptions about the energy of money. Her family was casual
about money, assuming we live in a "universe of plenty" and
that another job opportunity would present itself as needed. (It usually
did). His family, conversely, held onto the fears from the Great Depression
gleaned from grandparents and lived as if in a "universe of scarcity".
Those fears resulted in not taking risks, not spending (or circulating
any money), and not living a joyful life, which was passed onto the children.
One could speculate about "self-fulfilling prophecies", but
the point here is that the couple began to empathize with the background
of their partner, and find ways to forge compromises in their money decisions.
This is but one example of money therapy at work. With further reading
the various exercises evoke even greater awareness and deepen understanding
of both oneself and one's partner if they are part of the process. The
"Mother/Father Mirror" looks at those who have influenced and
taught us about money; or who may NOT have taught us through silence and
contributed to our naiveté. Which leads us to a major, unique aspect
of the work: finding our own "money type", akin to Jungian archetypes.
An example would be the untaught, naive person who may be predominately
an "Innocent", while the fearless risk-taker may relate to the
"Warrior". The most balanced of all the eight money types would
be the "Money Magician", who truly can learn to transform their
energy around money towards prosperity, creativity and contentment. Additional
exercises help separate out self-worth from net-worth, help to build a
calmer relationship to money, and for those who are interested, there
is a spiritual focus available.
Money therapy is not financial advising or guidance; that is neither the
training nor my expertise. There are times, however, when clients who
have gone through this process will seek help with changing money behaviors,
and wish to learn basic financial management skills, or seek help for
creating financial wellness. This is consistent with the training from
The Money Coaching Institute and my own Certification as a Money Coach.
One example is the painful story of a young woman who was deeply in credit
card debt, paying unconscionable interest rates to several companies while
also unable to curtail frivolous shopping. Our money therapy work uncovered
a connection to past deprivations, resulting in overspending (and overeating),
in an unconscious effort to fill the empty places inside. I have encountered
this dynamic many times over with people in this age group, whereas other
age groups may present with different dynamics.
Young people with affluent families are often hard-pressed to find the
motivation to delay gratification and work towards a meaningful professional
or work life, when the external (or internal) drive is around materialism,
and there is fear of not meeting expectations. Divorced or widowed women
who have not prepared for the future are grateful to have a confidential
setting to work out thoughts on the details, or learn how to manage inheritances
if that is the issue. Older couples often have not thought of comfortable
ways to will their assets, and are intimidated to have the first conversation
about these matters with an estate-planning attorney, or may even be seeking
trusted referrals. Blended families who struggle with fairness issues
regarding division of assets to children and stepchildren often seek clarification
of feelings before making those complicated decisions. Couples seeking
help where either he or she has lost a job, putting a strain on the marriage,
and needing a neutral person to help support and guide them, all of these
are examples of money therapy sessions, and symptomatic of our times.
The applications for this work are endless, and are as individual as the
clients seeking help. But the goal of developing new awareness and peace
of mind through creating a more balanced personal and financial life can
be rewarding for a lifetime.
©Copyright by Sandy Plone, Ph.D. 2009
Dr. Sandy Plone, Clinical Psychologist and Certified Money Coach specializes
in helping others work through blocks towards prosperity and creative
fulfillment. For information or confidential questions call (310)-979-7473.
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